Whether perhaps his shoes were too tight, or his heart was two sizes too small, a wanted Maryland man’s wonderful, awful idea to steal Christmas was foiled by Stafford deputies.

On December 4th at approximately 12:10 p.m. Deputy M.A. Pearce of the Special Problems Unit responded to Lowe’s, located at 1330 Stafford Market Place, for a report of a trespassing foe. Staff advised this suspect was squandering off with loads of goods yet to be sold.

With the help of Deputy A.J. Layug and Deputy C.D. Sullivan, the trespassing thieving culprit was caught red and green handed. Located within his fake Santy Claus sleigh, a Ram pickup, were packages, boxes, and bags of stolen ideas. From wreaths, to treetops. From LED lights, to ornaments. He had even stuffed up a Christmas tree and power washer. If left alone, the suppliers would have had nothing left but some hooks and wires.

The bah humbug was identified as Alphonsus Anthony, 64, who was not new to this taboo. He was wanted out of Stafford County for two felony grand larcenies from another Lowe’s. Anthony would hear a sound that started in low, then it started to grow. His list of charges. He was charged with grand larceny, larceny with intent to sell, and trespassing. He was also served on his outstanding warrants. He was held at Rappahannock Regional Jail without bond, where hopefully, there is still some who-hash for dinner.