Silence of the Yams
 
By PIO Ryan Wilbur
November 28, 2023
 

Deputies responded to a rather gravy situation where one Stafford man decided to help himself to a neighbor’s Thanksgiving feast.

On November 23rd, at approximately 11:24 p.m. Deputy A De Hoyos and Deputy S.A. Fulford responded to a residence on Smith Street for a breaking and entering. The victim advised a neighbor was currently in her kitchen.

Deputies entered the residence and discovered the suspect to be wobbling as he was gobbling. The suspect had feasted not only with his eyes, but he stuffed himself with delicious goods. He also had poured coffee grounds on some of the leftovers. The icing on the cake was in fact leftover cake. Deputies detained the mashed mashed potato murderer before he set his eyes on the pie.

The suspect admitted to consuming alcohol prior to driving to his neighbor’s residence. Considering the cake wasn’t a rum cake, it was determined he drove in an intoxicated state. The suspect was charged with driving under the influence, as well as, breaking and entering. He would spend Black Friday at Rappahannock Reginal Jail, for he was held without bond.