Lost and Fawnd
 
By Major Christopher Kimmitz
May 29, 2023
 

Deputy Busch responded to Fawns Run…I mean Falls Run…to rescue Fawn Solo from this porch earlier today. She believes Fawn Solo was still upset over the Bills loss to the Kansas City Chiefs in the NFL Divisional Round earlier this year and stag-gered onto the porch. It could be worse, think of the poor Commander’s fans!

In a strange twist to ding, dong, ditch, Fawn Solo rang the deer bell, but elected to remain on the porch. Upon the arrival of law enforcement, he ran for deer life to a neighboring porch thinking it is all fawn and games. Fawn Solo was subsequently deerected to the nearby tall grass to await his mother.

Fawn Solo appears healthy and looks like a million bucks. Neighbors were advised to leave him alone and while we have no ideer where his mom is, we believe she will return and he’ll be fawn with the wind. If mom has not returned by tomorrow, deputies will take action and consider child endangerment charges against the mother. The neighbors were very undeerstanding. There might even be a doecumentary in the future!

Thank you Deputy Busch, that was so consideerate! Again, doe us a favor and doe not approach the fawn.

Fur real doe, it seems like all we do is arrest drunk drivers and rescue animals.